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The Learning Annex is the pre-eminent adult education forum in the country, and I was honored to have been asked to teach three classes for them. This one entitled ” How To Write and Perform Comedy”.
Check it out below!
Every Tuesday night at 10:30 at the legendary comedy club in NYC, The Comic Strip, there’s a fun, live, streaming reality type show called “The Lottery Show.” Created by club manager JR, along with owner/founder Richie Tienken, young comics try their hand at passing to perform at the club, and are judged, … very honestly I might add,… by seasoned comedians.
(L-R) Robert Kelly, Patrice Oneal, Paul Mecurio, Richie TIenken and JR judging The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip!
The Comic Strip opened on June 1, 1976 and is still going as strong as ever after 35 years. It launched the careers of people like Jerry Seinfeld,Paul Reiser, George Wallace, Larry Miller, Ray Romano, Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock and many many more!
The past few weeks has seen stars like Artie Lange, Tony Rock and Colin Quinn come in to be Lottery Show judges, and the show is quickly gaining popularity as a “hip” thing to do in the comedy world.
Jeffrey Gurian with Artie Lange backstage after a show in 2009!
Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV with Tony Rock, the night he was a judge on The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip!
This past week the three judges were Robert Kelly from HBO’s Tourgasm with Dane Cook, Patrice Oneal, one of my favorites, and a guy who pushes the proverbial envelope today the way Lenny Bruce did way back when, and Emmy award winning national headliner Paul Mecurio! The judges change but the host stays the same, and that position is filled by VH1’s Sherrod Small who’s due to break huge any day now.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with his exact look-alike Patrice Oneal, after Patrice was a judge on The Lottery Show!
Sherrod is not only hysterical, but he controls the audience in a way that few comics can. And his bit about thanking certain segments of the audience after almost every joke, is a real crowd pleaser! And Jordan Rock is keepin’ it down on the ones and twos!
Sherrod Small and his longtime muse, … the lovely Marisa!
In this week’s show, which I will be providing a video of very shortly, you will see Patrice go off the way only Patrice can do. The judges were arguing very loudly over a call on whether a certain comic was funny or not, and why, and during what almost sounded like a street fight, a show broke out!
I will always be honored by the fact that Patrice chose me to be his co-host on his Sirius radio show, “The Black Phillip Show”. A couple of them are still up on the internet. This is one of them where Patrice is absolutely fascinated by the “hot” girls I’m with!
Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV and Patrice Oneal all the way back in 2001!
Can’t wait to finish editing the video tape of The Lottery Show so I can post it. Stay tuned for that!
Kelly Cutrone is a powerhouse! How do I know? Aside from the fact that I count her as a dear friend, and know her for many years, she managed to wind up on Page 6 two days in a row, about the same story. No one does that! (LOL) It’s hard enough to get on Page 6 at all, but to have two stories back to back? Only Kelly Cutrone could do that!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Kelly Cutrone at the Barnes and Noble book signing for her hit book ” If You Have To Cry, Go Outside.”
On Tuesday, 9/27/11 the first story ran, entitled “Diva Swap” saying that ” Sources close to the catwalk competition say Vogue editor-at-large André Leon Talley will exit Tyra Banks’ hit series America’s Next Top Model, after its 17th season wraps, and Kelly Cutrone may take his place.” Cutrone’s people had no comment on that, nor did Talley’s people, nor the CW’s people. Nobody’s people were talking!
Kelly is the head of the hot fashion P.R. firm People’s Revolution, and when she arranged for me to attend the shows at Fashion Week that she was in charge of, it was very clear that she runs everything with a tight fist! Kelly doesn’t mince words when she’s on the grind! And people jump to do her bidding.
She’s had a lot of TV experience, including her run on MTV’s The Hills which led to her starring in the spinoff, ” The City”, and finally as the star of her own show on Bravo, ” Kell On Earth”, which she also Exec. Produced!
The very next day, another Page 6 item came out entitled ” Andre’s All Good” in which Andre says there are ho hard feelings about him leaving the show, that it was mutual, and that he had a fabulous time while he was on. They like to refer to Kelly as “tough-talking” which fits her TV image, but she’s always been very kind to me.
I recall my first trip out to LA many years ago. Kelly made one phone call, and got me a super room at an even better price at the Sunset Marquis hotel in Hollywood. Then when I was out there she hooked me up with lots of fun events to make me feel at home, like I was in New York!
I remember the event she created that really put her in the public eye. Many years ago, she produced a show in NYC, in an art gallery, and the show was called ” Love, Spit, Love”. It was basically naked couples in various intimate poses within an art gallery setting. Live art, if you will! And lots of people did! I remember being there as her guest and there were tons of cops, and police barricades to try and control the huge crowds that had come to try and get in.
She mentions that event as a monumental event in her career in her hit Harper One book ” If You Have To Cry, Go Outside”, which chronicles how she overcame the often difficult and challenging events in her life that led up to the success she enjoys now.
Kelly Cutrone’s hit book, ” If You Have To Cry, Go Outside” published by Harper One!”
I was at the book signing for that event, and I came away with one of the most special pieces of memorabilia in my whole long career. When Kelly signed my book she wrote: “Dearest Jeffrey,
You are a legend! I worship you!
And under that was a big Heart, and then her name “Kelly.” And if you don’t believe me, here it is!
No caption is needed! This photo speaks for itself! (LOL)
So I along with millions of other people will be watching for Kelly on ANTM, and rooting for her continued success!
You know that saying, ” Behind every successful woman is a great man?” Don’t blame yourself if you never heard of it, I just made it up, but in Lisa Lampanelli’s case it’s true.
Lisa Lampanelli is a dear friend of mine, and one of the few to be in my “Dancing With Comedians” series of photos. A couple of the others were Phil Hartman and Gilbert Gottfried. Mostly men for some reason! (LOL)
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV dancing with Lisa Lampanelli as part of his rare “Dancing With Comedians” series!
Lisa’s husband, Jimmy Cannizzaro, or Jimmy Big Balls as Lisa affectionately calls him, has a security company, Canno Security, and is Lisa’s road manager. You HAVE to feel secure around Jimmy. He’s a huge, imposing individual, who is the quintessential “gentle giant”! The only people who wouldn’t feel secure around Jimmy are the kind of people who would try to ruin your evening. Those people would feel very INSECURE around Jimmy. To say he could be intimidating would be a gross understatement. He looks like he could take a bite out of a desk! I once saw him throw a guy out of a club with his eye! Just picked him up with his eye and tossed him out! (LOL)
Lisa Lampanelli and her husband Jimmy “Big Balls” Cannizzaro at the after-party for the Donald Trump Roast!
I see Jimmy a lot at Gotham Comedy Club, where he makes sure that everyone stays in line. He told me that even though their actual one year anniversary is this coming weekend, Oct. 2nd, he and Lisa were going to celebrate tonight. He even had tickets for a Broadway show, but she suddenly got a call from Whitney Cummings yesterday, to fly out to LA to do a guest spot on her new NBC sit-com the very next day, and he told her to go ahead, because they could always celebrate when she got back, but guest spots on hot shows don’t come along that often! That’s the kind of partner a show business person needs. Someone understanding.
No one should ever have to make the choice between taking an important gig or insulting your significant other! It’s not fair. In show biz you have to be where they need you to be when they need you, or else you miss out! Too many showbiz people wind up with partners who don’t understand that.
I’m a big fan of Whitney Cummings. I hadn’t really been aware of her until I started seeing her on the Roasts, and I was very impressed. First by her appearance, because there are very few such attractive women performing comedy. I was not surprised to find out she had been a model! They make fun of her relentlessly at the Roasts and she takes it in good stride because she’s obviously comfortable with her appearance! She also has a gorgeous smile, and I say that both personally and professionally, as I used to be a Cosmetic Dentist! I know great teeth when I see them!
Plus I’m a good judge of beauty, as Lisa Lampanelli referred to in the video interview I did with her recently when she made her singing debut at The Friars Club in NYC. She was preparing for her upcoming Broadway show tentatively titled “Bring Back The Fat Chick”, in which she’ll talk about her lief and her life-long battle with food and her weight!
She said that over the years she always sees me with hot, gorgeous women, and like many other people to whom I have not felt the need to explain, she wanted to know how I was able to get so many extraordinary women.
With Lisa it was different. I explained to her that I feel sorry for beautiful women because most men are intimidated by them and are afraid to ask them out. For that reason, many beautiful women are lonely. That makes me sad! That’s why when I see a beautiful woman, I go out of my way to be friendly and pay attention to them! And the more beautiful they are, the nicer I am to them! I feel it’s the least I can do! (LOL) Someone has to date them, … it may as well be ME!!! She agreed!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Lisa Lampanelli at The Friars Club in NYC!
Whitney Cummings is that rare breed of beauty who can also be very funny, and let it all hang out, like Chelsea Handler, and not worry about losing their femininity! The first time I ever met Chelsea Handler was at Carolines and she was doing BJ jokes with her father in the audience. That took balls! And I knew right then and there that she was destined for stardom. Not just because of her choice of material, but because of her stage presence, and the confidence it took to do that kind of material and not be shook by the fact that her father was there!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with the beautiful and funny Chelsea Handler at Carolines Comedy Club back in 2005!
Needless to say, I was right, and Chelsea is at the top with her own show, Chelsea Lately, for quite a while now!
Jimmy told me that Lisa liked the interview I did with her so much that she showed it to Whitney, and Whitney loved it! Maybe now I’ll get to do a similar one with Whitney! How cool would that be? ( Rhetorical question, not requiring an answer! LOL )
Whitney has her own show “Whitney” on NBC, Thursdays at 9:30, and is Exec. Producer of “2 Broke Girls” on CBS. She’s definitely working it, and I’m looking forward to seeing her in the nurse’s uniform she’s wearing in the pilot! When I ran into her in Montreal, she was dressed exactly like her co-star Chris D’Elia described her. He said for the last 5 years that he knows her, every single day all she wears is a hoodie. Check out the photo below!
Whitney Cummings flashing her beautiful smile in the lobby of the Hyatt Regency Hotel, at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal!
Jeremy Taylor is a very dedicated man and right now he’s dedicated to raising money to help ease the plight of Burmese refugee children. In that effort he produced a spectacular event at The Friars Club in NYC, a legendary private club, called “Burma Captured: In Images and Spirit” which was co-hosted by best selling author Naomi Wolf, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, and actor Esai Morales.
Jeffrey Gurian of #Comedy Matters TV at The Friars Club with Naomi Wolf at a fundraiser she co-hosted for Burmese children!
There was also a musical performance by world-renowned classical pianist Rosa Antonelli who just happens to be a good friend of mine, and has a performance coming up in November at Carnegie Hall, as well as a performance by master illusionist Oz Pearlman, another old friend of mine.
Thanks to the efforts of Jeremy Taylor, Burma Relief has developed programs addressing healthcare, education, food and shelter issues among Burmese children in Maesot, Thailand, including malaria testing and treatment, cardiac surgeries, and provision of food. They also constructed a girls’ dormitory and renovated a school.
The proceeds from this Friars Club event will be used to build dormitories for children in three camps in Maesot named Naung Po Deng, Pyan Taung and Hway Ka Loke, as well as to provide bunk beds, computers and solar panels for the dormitories, and thatched roofs for deteriorating wooden structures.
To assist this worthwhile cause you can either:
Mail a check to Burma Relief, 401 Fifth Avenue, 4th Floor, New York, NY 10016.
Or you can contact Burma Relief at 212-951-7220 ext.170, or email [email protected].
The website is www.burmarelief.org
I was able to get what I thought was a very insightful and informative interview with Naomi Wolf, some of which appears in this video, and some of which will be in a separate video simply because it deserves that! Check out the video of the event right here:
As a driver who usually has a destination when I get into the car, I’m constantly baffled by the number of people who don’t fucking move when the light turns green. I personally hate red lights. They are the bane of my existence, so when the light turns green I step on the gas right away so I can continue towards my destination. It’s the reason I got into my car in the first place! I have someplace to go!
I don’t just suddenly find my self in my car not knowing how I got there, and with no place to go! Who are these other fucking morons who seem to be on a tour! Are there actually people who get into their cars with nowhere to go? Just cruising around Manhattan? Not these days, especially with the price of gas!
Which is why I can’t figure out the people who sit at a green light.
The light turns red and they start reading a book, or planning their next vacation. It turns back to green,and they stay lost in thought, until suddenly it dawns on them that they’re in a car and have someplace to go. Very often that doesn’t happen until I honk my horn, and wake them the fuck up!
And I’m not one of those lunatics who honks the horn second the light changes, but if five seconds passes by and you haven’t begun to move yet, you’ve basically lost touch with reality, and are no longer cognizant of the fact that you’re on your way somewhere. Red lights are just to let the other guys go, not for you to detach from reality!
That’s why we have traffic! Because too many drivers are stupid! In every traffic jam there has to be a first car? if that car never slowed down, there’d be no traffic, so except for the event of an accident or road closure, traffic is basically due to stupidity and to people with slow reflexes, who can’t figure out what to do when one lane closes and merges into another.
Their synapses are not firing the way they’re supposed to, so they have to stop and stare, basically waiting for a “Stop” sign to change to “Go.”
So stay aware, and keep your foot near the gas so when the red light is finished being red, you can progress on your merry way and not drive other people crazy! It’s New York dammit, MOVE!!!
Posted in: Point of View, Politics, Self Help Information
Leave a Comment (0) →Everyone loves a Roast, and everyone, especially in the comedy community, was anxiously awaiting the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen! The jokes could basically write themselves. There was so much to use for inspiration. I wrote for the famed Friars Roasts for many years, but I have to say the level of humor then was nowhere near as cruel as it is today! There’s nothing left to say that is considered shocking anymore! It’s all been done, so now people say the most horrible things they can think of, and it passes for humor because no one has the balls to tell them it isn’t funny!
I won’t say which jokes I think that applies to! I’ll leave that up to you!
This Roast was produced by my old friend Jeffrey Ross who I know for a long time. Jeffrey’s become known as the Roastmaster General, which is very similar to being the Postmaster General. The Postmaster General is in charge of delivering the mail, and the Roastmaster General is in charge of delivering the funny! I wonder how much Jeffrey had to do with who the Roasters were.
Comedy Central V.P. JoAnn Grigioni, Jeffrey Gurian, and Jeffrey Ross at the after-party for the Donald Trump Roast!
He himself commented, ” Look at this dais. This lineup is so pathetic, I was hoping I’D get replaced by Ashton Kutcher!”
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Jeffrey Ross, somewhere cool back in 2004!
Ross about Sheen – Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up! ( Brilliant! )
He went on to say, ” Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez would have been here tonight, but they had a family obligation”!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Jeffrey Ross at the Friars Club book party for Gurian’s book, ” Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive!”
Those are the kind of jokes I love. Clever, and funny but not cruel!
And then he asked Charlie about his kids, ” Don’t you wanna live to see their first 12 steps???” ( Hilarious! )
Greg Giraldo was missed, but was mentioned when Ross said about Anthony Jeselnik, ” Some say you’re the next Greg Giraldo. Let’s hope so!”
Also missed were Lisa Lampanelli who had another committment, and Gilbert Gottfried, who was committed!
Seth McFarlane is a great Roastmaster. He’s really found a niche for himself cause it’s a hard thing to do. I don’t know how much he writes himself, but his lines are sharp and he delivers them like he wrote them!
Seth McFarlane on TV when he hosted the Roast of Donald Trump!
I like his simple lines like ” Anthony Jeselnik’s act combines the excitement of standing there with the thrill of saying words!” That’s hysterical!
He followed it up by saying, ” You know him best by me saying his name right now! “
Anthony Jeselnik chillin’ at The Comic Strip after his set!
Seth on Mike Tyson – He’s beaten every opponent he’s gone up against so far, except the letter “S”!
Amy Schumer showed how she got on the dais with her clever lines:
Amy to Tyson – Mike Tython. Am I saying that right? You have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face! Men don’t know whether to be scared of it, or finish on it! ( To his credit Tyson laughed at everything that was said about him! )
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Amy Schumer at Gotham Comedy Club!
Amy to Sheen – You are really so famous. It was international news when you ruined the lives of those two girls that were living with you, … your daughters! ( Very edgy! I think family members used to be considered out of bounds when we wrote the Friars Roasts!) I remember one joke I wrote that got side-lined about an honoree who was so neat he let other guys f**k his wife so he wouldn’t have to get his c**k all messy!
Jeffrey Gurian with a very dressy Amy Schumer, including what look like pearls, at Gotham Comedy Club!
Amy mentioned Patrice Oneal’s bout with Diabetes and said this was also a farewell party for Patrice’s foot, and told a joke where his grandmother was the brunt of the joke. It almost looked like Patrice winced at that one, which is hard to do!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with his pal Patrice Oneal when Patrice was Jeffrey’s guest speaker at an event to create comedy workshops for inner city kids!
I was his co-host for a while on his Sirius Radio show The Black Phillip Show along with Dante Nero,who labeled me a “Level 12 Pimp”, a title I held proudly! (LOL) Patrice said he chose me not only because we got a long so well, and made for interesting partners, but because I was the only white man he ever met who knew all the words to AMG’s “Bitch Betta Have My Money!”
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Patrice Oneal at the Friars Club book party for Jeffrey’s book “FIlthy, Funny,and Totally Offensive.”
Check out some clips from the show here where Patrice is talking about me, and the beautiful girl I had with me, Jacqueline Beaulieu:
So again, there’s not many things that Patrice wouldn’t say, and I don’t know if I could even think of one, but I really think he winced at the grandmother joke!
But Amy took some unfair heat when referencing Ryan Dunn from Jackass who was killed in an auto accident, and was friends with Steve-O who was on the dais. She said, ” Sorry for the loss of your friend Ryan Dunn. You were thinking “it could have been me”, and we were all thinking, ” Why wasn’t it you?” Which doesn’t seem so harsh in light of the other things that were said, and remembering that it IS a Roast!
Seth McFarlane made jokes about Amy Winehouse, when writing Charlie Sheen’s make believe obituary, and no one said anything about that?
When Steve-O jumped face first into Mike Tyson’s fist and broke his nose, Seth said, ” That’s what it looks like when an asshole gets fisted!” No one’s that quick, so I guess that part was planned!
Anthony Jeselnik has such an unusual delivery. I can’t exactly explain what it is, but it’s great. It gives him the ability to say things you would never expect him to say. They said he’s dating Amy Schumer. I can see that happening! I think it works comedically as well as socially!
Anthony to Sheen – “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because G-d hates Michael J. Fox!”
Patrice Oneal is like a philosopher. He does best when he has time to develop his premises of which he has many! He did great on the Roast when he told Seth McFarlane that he needs a partner to bring down his ego, like Hanna-Barbera had, like when Hanna thought he was bigger than Yogi and Barbera had to slap the shit out of him!
He also advised Seth to just come out and admit that he’s gay! He said ” No straight guy writes that many show tunes!”
You have to have a thick skin to be a Roaster or a Roastee! Everyone present gets what’s coming to them, … whether they deserve it or not!!!
Check out the previous post on Jeffrey Ross producing the Roast at:
I was honored by The Learning Annex, the nationally known adult education forum, by being asked to teach an online class for them on Writing and Performing Comedy!
This is the link on U-Stream! Hope you will check it out! I did two other classes for them which I will be posting as well!
These are some of the people I’ve been fortunate enough to meet and work with over the years!
A rare 4-in-1 photo of me, Richard Belzer and Paul Shaffer, holding a photo of me, Richard Belzer and Paul Shaffer, holding a photo of me, Richard Belzer and Paul Shaffer, holding atill a 4th photo of me, Richard Belzer and Paul Shaffer taken by Richard Lewin at The Friars Club!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Colin Quinn on Broadway at his hit show directed by Jerry Seinfeld, “Long Story Short”!
Paul Provenza, trying to teach Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV how to do to The Aristocrats pose! It’s not going well! LOL
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with JB Smoove in Montreal at the Just For Laughs Festival!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Billy Crystal in Billy’s Beverly Hills office after the interview for the book on The Comic Strip that Jeffrey is writing!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Chris Rock at The Comic Strip after HIS interview for the book that Jeffrey is writing!
Thanks to Goldman/McCormick, the top PR agency, I was asked to participate in a panel on Fox News Channel hosted by Megyn Kelly to review what I think was the 3rd or 4th Republican debate. This one was held in Orlando, Florida on 9/22/11.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV on set at Fox News Channel with host Megyn Kelly!
On the set of Fox News Channel''s America Live with Megyn Kelly!
I’ve never been one to be particularly political, because I have become very cynical. All politicians seem to be liars. It’s a big phony thing, just like Wall Street. Every day one fear or another causes the market to go up or down, ( mostly down!), and the only ones who make money are the traders! The average schmuck like you or I makes a few dollars one day and gives back twice as much the next!
Back in the 1700’s, or 1800’s MAYBE the politicians were honorable, but today all you have to do is read the paper to see all the crime and fraudulent, “behind the scenes” activities they’re involved in.
There’s too many favors to repay if you get elected for anything. When the country was small you didn’t have to know that many people. Today there’s too many groups to appease.
I remember running for President of the Freshman Class in college, and every single person wanted to know what I would do for them if I got elected! I actually won that election, and that’s a whole other story for a different day!
People are tired of double-speak. Politicians learn to answer questions without answering them. They twist the words like high powered lawyers and come out with some BS answers that only their press people would be proud of. They’re afraid to commit to anything because they’re afraid it will cost them votes. That’s why I could never vote for anyone who had been an Ambassador. They’re too used to putting a spin on things and sugar coating what they say so as not to offend anyone, … especially our enemies!
Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV as part of the panel on Fox News with Megyn Kelly to discuss the Republican debates!
From a personal point of view, I think you have to be very sick to want to be the President of a country! To want that much power. It’s hard enough to take care of your own family. Who wants the responsibility of taking care of an entire country? Especially when it’s the greatest country in the world, the United States of America! Good old USA! But I guess it would be even worse if no one wanted to do it! I guess I subscribe to the theory some genius came up with that says,
“Politics is show business for ugly people!”
Up until this year that might have held true, but in this coming election there are some stylish nice looking people! So when I was offered the opportunity to evaluate the Republican debates, I jumped at it. I even cancelled my plans to attend a party, and stayed home to watch it so i could feel well prepared, not like one panelist who only watched the part that pertained to jobs, and refused to discuss anything else, because he felt that was all he was qualified to give an opinion on!
Having worked within the Alternative Medicine field for many years using “Energy” as a form of Healing, I decided that I would come prepared to discuss the “energy” and personality aspects of each of the potential candidates, since that is rarely discussed. I didn’t get to go into much depth on air, although as you’ll see in an upcoming video I did get to make some points I thought were important!
Then I realized I could address everything I wanted to in my Blog, Comedy Matters. There were 9 potential candidates, so here goes, one by one, and let me remind you, these are only my opinions!
1. Rick Perry – the most Presidential looking of the candidates. He’s distinguished looking,handsome, and has great hair. Most men, … especially politicians, … wear their hair like they’re embarrassed for having any. It’s almost like an apology,… ” Sorry I have hair. I’ll try and wear it flat or in a way you won’t notice!” He has great presence, powerful energy, and a strong first name. Rick is a good name for a President. He waved with his right hand which is a sign of strength and foreward thinking! He lost points on trying to defend reduced college tuition for the children of illegal aliens, and made the mistake of calling people who didn’t understand that “heartless.” Those who DID understand might be accused of being brainless! I was disappointed because I was excited about his prospects, but we need someone strong on immigration, so now I don’t know!
Texas Governor Rick Perry who I thought looked the most Presidential!
2. Mitt Romney – I was prepared not to like this guy. First of all, what kind of President has a name like Mitt??? A mitt is for catching a baseball, not for running a country! He waved with his left hand which is acceptable if he’s a lefty. If he’s right-handed it’s a sign of weakness! When he’s standing at rest he puts out weak energy, but to his credit when he speaks about something he’s passionate about he recovers and is very strong. I came away with a new respect for him as a person, and he was very strong on Israel which I respected!
3. Michelle Bachman – She wore red which is the color of the first Chakra and a color that most women fear! It takes a very secure woman to wear red and she wore it well as did Megyn Kelly who also owns her power as a woman! She spoke well about the need for a true Conservative in office, but she waved with her left hand, so I’d also be curious to know if she’s left handed or right handed!
A powerful, and attractive Michelle Bachmann wearing red and owning her power at the Republican debates!
4. Rick Santorum – Also has a strong name,… “Rick”. But a little too “tight” looking to be President. He doesn’t really carry Presidential energy. He did very well on confronting Rick Perry on immigration and on staying strong in Iraq. He also was great on saying he’d change the rules of engagement which are almost at the point where we ask the enemy if we can shoot at them. First we give them a warning so they can duck down, and then we say, ” Is it okay if we shoot now???” No one has ever won a war like that. We owe it to our fighting men and women to win as fast and as quickly as possible so we can bring them home to their families. We owe the enemy NOTHING! He actually said we should go to war to win, and not for politics!
Rick Santorum chastising Rick Perry for his action or non-action on allowing children of illegal immigrants to go to college as resident students!
5. Newt Gingrich – If I thought Mitt was a bad name for a President, Newt is ten times worse! Newt is a cartoon lizard! Newt Gingrich! Where do these names come from? He’s like a caricature of old boy politics. Just what you’d expect to see. Weak chin,( at least 2 or 3 of them!), high voice, mouth turns down, thin lips, and his hair is like a hat or helmet. His hair should come with a chinstrap!
Newt Gingrich, the consummate politician! Just what you'd expect!
To his credit he was the first to have the nerve not to play the “game” of choosing one of the other potential candidates as a running mate. He took back the power on that one, and that is a difficult thing to do, to suddenly stop and say, ” I’m not doing that.” So kudos to Newt for using his experience to know he didn’t have to follow along!
6. John Huntsman- the former Governor from Utah- I don’t think a guy from Utah is worldly enough to be President of the United States. Huntsman proved that by showing up with a weird vibe. He’s stylish and nice looking, but he has the presence, demeanor, and facial movements of a stand-up comedian. Plus he was appointed by Obama as the Ambassador to China! Ambassadors are like P.R. people to the tenth degree! They learn to put a spin on the truth. It comes too easily to them. We’ve had enough of that. Plus he blinks too much and comes off like a retired actor. That’s why he kept mentioning his family. He started out by saying, ” It’s an honor to be here, and then mentioned that his wife came from that state. Later on, he mentioned his daughter and that she has Juvenile Diabetes. It came across false, like he was using his family to get attention or sympathy, which is exactly what I would expect from an Ambassador!
Btw, since i mentioned Obama,let me say this about him, … the only thing I like about Obama is that he’s Black! It’s great that we were able to elect a Black president, but we need a president who can do something, besides being Black!
7.Herman Cain – He looks like a great guy, and if there was a national office for “Great Guy” he’d be perfect, but unfortunately there’s not! He’s not Presidential at all, even though he speaks strongly about certain things. And I think his PR people have to step away from his connection to “Godfather’s Pizza”. I don’t know if I’d want to associate my President with a fast food. Maybe they should just bill him as a “successful entrepreneur”! That might carry more respect. Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza doesn’t do it for me, or for lots of other people. What if he had run a national chain of something called ” Vinnie’s Pizza”, of ” Carmine’s Pizza”, or something else like that. Would they have used that as well?
8.Ron Paul – If they ever do the Burgess Meredith story, Ron Paul would be great to play him! In case you don’t recall, Burgess Meredith played Mickey in the Rocky movies. He was Rocky’s trainer. He also played The Penguin in Batman. Ron was the worst of the nine as far as I’m concerned. Energy wise he was very weak. He came across as old, out of touch, his mouth turns down, his lips are non-existent, his teeth are badly worn which usually means he suffers from stress, and he looked like he was wearing a sweater instead of a suit jacket due to the cut of the jacket. What made him even more grotesque was that he didn’t think that Iran posed a threat! I wonder what he would have thought about Hitler after reading Mein Kampf!
9. Gary Johnson – Governor of New Mexico – John Huntsman looked like the comedian but Gary Johnson told the best joke, which I understand he lifted from Rush Limbaugh who said it earlier in the day! He said his neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than President Obama! He had weird energy, waved with his right hand, which may have been his only plus, and he is a Libertarian, whatever that means!
One other point! They asked Rick Perry what he would do if he got a call at 3 A.M. that Pakistani nuclear weapons had fallen into the wrong hands! He never answered that question, and I don’t blame him. First of all if anyone were to be asked that question, it should have been asked of EVERYONE, because it’s such a dangerous question. How could anyone answer that properly? It’s like asking what you would do if you were awakened to find out that Pakistani terrorists had launched a nuclear warhead at us. Is he supposed to say he’d wipe them off the face of the earth? What good answer could he have given? Instead he made some comment about keeping close to India, and our other friends in the region. He side-stepped it but only out of necessity!
That’s my brief, (or not so brief!) foray into politics! I’ll be posting the video very soon> I was able to make what I thought were some good points!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV making what he thought was a good point!
Comedy Central invited me to cover a very special event where several of the celebs just happened to be friends of mine, but that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s still always tense and exciting wondering what will go down on the red carpet, knowing you have to keep it flowing and keep it funny and interesting!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Steve Buscemi star of HBO's hit Boardwalk Empire and co-host of Reel Works 10th Anniversary celebration!
Reel Works is a youth-oriented filmmaking initiative that provides high school students with the mentoring, training, and support to finish high school and then go on to college, and find job training careers in NYC’s film and television industry.
The event was at the Prince George Ballroom on East 27th Street, and I was there with my assistant and DP Tristan Griffin. Reel Works is the only youth filmmaking program that matches each student one-on-one with a professional filmmaker mentor. I wish they had something like that when I went to school!
The event was MC’ed by the hilarious Hannibal Buress who was voted one of Variety’s 10 Top Comics To Watch in Montreal last year, 2010, at the Just For Laughs Festival, which is the biggest comedy festival in the world. Hannibal has also written for NBC’s 30 Rock and SNL!
Reggie Watts and Hannibal Buress at the Reel Works 10th Anniversary Celebration!
The co-hosts were Steve Buscemi, star of HBO’s hit show Boardwalk Empire and his filmmaker wife Jo Andres!
Steve Buscemi and his wife and co-host Jo Andres, for the event honoring the 10th anniversary of Reel Works, a youth filmmaking initiative!
The honoree was Fisher Stevens who won an Academy Award for his film “The Cove”,and is currently directing John Leguizamo in his latest hit Broadway show, Ghetto Clown, which Fisher told me is about to begin a world tour! Fisher was being presented with the award by John Leguizamo, who for whatever reason was not available to do any press that night, which is unusual for John because he always makes himself available, and is ALWAYS very gracious with his time!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with John Leguizamo at a press event for his film "The Babysitters."
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Academy Award winner Fisher Stevens, the honoree at the Reel Works 10th anniversary celebration!
Plus there was a very special musical/comedy performance by an incredibly talented guy and another friend of mine, Reggie Watts, who is the opening act for Conan O’Brien’s ” The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour” and winner of the Andy Kaufman Award. I had just seen Reggie in Montreal at THIS year’s Just For Laughs Festival where he performed in a show with Bo Burnham!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Reggie Watts who was performing at the Reel Works 10th Anniversary celebration honoring Fisher Stevens! ( He makes my hair look normal! Actually he makes me look totally bald! )
These are just some stills from the event. Wait till you see the videos coming soon!
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