Posts Tagged sex.

The Most Horrible Parts of the Body

The Most Horrible Parts of the Body

Early in June, 2014 the world went wild with stories about Rihanna, who on June 2, 2014 walked into an event in a see-through dress.  It was an event at Lincoln Center and she was there to receive a Fashion Icon Award from the Council of Fashion Designers of America, presented by no less than the editor of Vogue, Anna Wintour! Rihanna’s gown was created by designer Adam Selman with over 216,000 Swarovski crystals.    Her critics, including Andrea Peyser of the NY Post,  felt it should have had at least 216,002 crystals, with the other two crystals covering her nipples which could be seen through the sheer material. ( I tried unsuccessfully to upload the photos from The Post but WordPress didn’t let me!)

On Wednesday June 4th the NY Post wrote an article about the occurrence, with a photo of Rihanna with the area showing her nipples blocked out.  Two days later Andrea Peyser of the NY Post, ( same paper) wrote an article she called ” Hey, nip this nonsense”, with an unblocked photo of Rihanna’s nipples, but the “nonsense” she was referring to was not the nonsense of making a big deal out of seeing Rihanna’s nipples, but the nonsense of her doing such a  dastardly thing as exposing them to public view!

What is it about the nipple that is so horrible that you’re allowed to exhibit and expose every other single part of the breast but that part?   How can such a small patch of skin with a little bump in the middle inspire such insanity in people?  Who was it who made that part of the breast so taboo, that it’s considered a sin for anyone to see it?  is it because that’s the part of the body that Moms feed their children with?

In Europe, toplessness is considered kind of normal.  European men must be geniuses!  Somehow they managed to convince European women that they could go to the beach topless, and no one would notice!  Maybe they just promised not to look!  That makes European women either the most gullible women in the world or the most relaxed and enlightened!

There are some people who still haven’t gotten over the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson “Nipplegate” thing that happened back in 2004 during the Super Bowl in Houston, when 143.6 million people were titillated by the sight of Janet Jackson’s pasty covered nipple.  It was blamed on a “wardrobe malfunction!”  More than half a million people complained and some haven’t slept well since.  Most were women without nipples who were just jealous!

Back in the old days, burlesque queens and strippers wore pasties to cover their nipples.   Actually they still do!  And back when I was doing comedy videos for Playboy TV, I  had to audition girls from the strip clubs, and there was actually a time when they were letting them use clear, latex pasties that you’d spray on from a can.  You could actually see through them, but just the fact that there was something over their nipples was enough to get past the “no nipple” rule!

In this so called age of “equality” between the sexes, it seems there’s a real double standard!  You’re allowed to actually see men’s nipples, probably because they don’t do anything.  It’s a wonder that we have them at all.  I don’t think anyone’s ever found a real use for them.  But on a man the penis is the most horrible part that no one is ever allowed to see.  Now I’m not advocating that you should be allowed to see it or to show it to anyone, but it just seems strange from a comedic point of view, that there is a part of our body once again that is so horrible, disgusting, and obscene that you can actually be arrested for showing it to anyone.  It’s literally a crime to show someone your penis.  Unless they request a viewing!

Women have low cut tops, showing off most of their breasts.  At any fashion gala or even some spectacular event like the Academy Awards you see women with their breasts pushed up so high, they look like they’re about to pop out.  It looks more ridiculous than sexy! But again, there’s such a double standard.   Men don’t have low cut pants.  Fortunately there’s no such thing.  It’s not like you can show off the entire length of the shaft of your penis except for the tip, which would be the equivalent of a woman showing off her entire breast except for the center!

It’s funny that the two parts of the male and female anatomy used to either make children or feed them are the two parts people are shamed by and are illegal to show.  Where did that start?  Maybe back in The Garden when Eve ate the apple because the snake told her to, and man was given shame! We’ve been paying the price ever since, but for us comedy writers, it’s really just a big joke!

Posted in: Breaking News, Celeb Photos, Comedians In The News, Comedy Matters, Comedy Thoughts, Entertainment News, Fashion Events, Featured, General Information, Hot Models, Jeffrey Gurian News, Point of View, Stand-Up Comedy, Strange News, Unusual News, Weird News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Spectacular Evening at Sotheby’s for 20th Anniversary of ACE

It was 20 years ago that social activist Henry Buhl created ACE which stands for “The Association of Community Employment Programs for the Homeless” with the help of people like Tony Goldman,a real estate magnate, who’s also responsible for building up a lot of South Beach in Miami.

Prince Lorenzo Borghese, Tinsley Mortimer and Henry Buhl at the gala 20th anniversary ACE event at Sotheby’s!

Last night there was a gala event honoring ACE’s work over the past 20 years as well as honoring Russell Simmons and international opera star Jessye Norman.

I was covering the red carpet so I was really hoping to see and interview Russell, who I hadn’t seen since we honored Brett Ratner at The Friars Club some months back, but unfortunately he was detained in arriving.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV ready to man the red carpet at Sotheby’s for the 20th anniversary gala of ACE,, to assist the homeless!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Rosanna Scotto of FOX TV’s Good Day New York at the ACE gala at Sotheby’s!

I did get to see and interview Henry Buhl, Sara Herbert-Galloway who was one of the esteemed hosts,(and a friend!), Jessye Norman, who couldn’t have been nicer, Rosanna Scotto, the anchor from FOX’s Good Day New York, Prince Lorenzo Borghese who I hadn’t seen in quite a while and who was there with Tinsley Mortimer, my old dear friend Countess LuAnn DeLesseps from The Real Housewives of New York City, who was there with her boyfriend Jacques Azoulay, two other old friends Dr. Judy Kuriansky the famous sex therapist, and Mary Sliwa, ex-wife of Curtis Sliwa, and one very special interview for me, with Aviva Drescher one of the new women on Real Housewives of NYC. That was a real treat!

Countess LuAnn DeLesseps with Jacques Azoulay on the red carpet at Sotheby’s!

Jessye Norman was passionate about helping the homeless, and about Henry Buhl’s work over the past 20 years.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with international opera star Jessye Norman at Sotheby’s!

Lorenzo and I caught up on old times and he was shocked that I remembered the name of his line of pet products, Royal Treatment! It always amazes me what I do remember because very often I remember nothing at all!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Lorenzo Borghese at a party back in 2006!

And Tinsley Mortimer and I had a good laugh about the first time we met in of all places, a McDonald’s. You’d have thought maybe The Four Seasons, or Nobu maybe, but no, … it was McDonalds. It was very late at night and we were both hungry and on line for a snack! She has a new book just out for a month called “Southern Charm” and one day soon we’re going to sit down and shoot a little video interview about it for Comedy Matters TV!

Countess LuAnn and I always have something to laugh about together! We just look at each other and laugh! We’re friends since the 80’s, when she was still a nurse and a model, and we had lots of fun times together. It wasn’t that long ago when she was interviewing me on Plum TV in the Hamptons. I’m so happy for her for all of her success, and for being with Jacques who’s such a great guy, but could have been a little more creative with his name! (LOL)

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Countess LuAnn DeLesseps at one of the opening parties for “Real Housewives of New York City”! ( Her Mom is next to us!)

Countess LuAnn DeLesseps and her beautiful Mom at a Real Housewives party!

Who would believe a French guy named Jacques? It’s like an Italian guy named Carmine! Or a Jewish guy named Sol! Not very creative! (LOL)

Anyway, I suggested to LuAnn that we do a comedy thing on Housewives, like some kind of comedy event, and we’re going to discuss it!

But I’d have to say my interview with Aviva Drescher was the highlight of the evening for me. I asked her about her charity “One Step Ahead” and she complimented me on my preparedness, which led to such a heartwarming interview on people overcoming obstacles in their lives.

Real Housewives Heather Thompson, LuAnn DeLesseps, and Aviva Drescher at Sotheby’s!

Aviva is an amputee which you would have no way of knowing unless she told you. She’s a gorgeous woman with a super personality, and a handsome husband with four beautiful kids. When she was six, she lost her left leg in an accident at a friend’s house. But she never let it get the best of her and I admire people so much for that. Because not everyone rises above difficulties like that. Some people let it overwhelm them.

And she shared with me that when she was younger she thought she might never get married or have children, but fortunately none of that was true. I was able to share with her my own story of overcoming obstacles, of which I feel there were many. None as serious as the loss of a limb, but I was a very severe stutterer until I was in my 20’s.

My parents took me for speech therapy but no one was able to help me. One day I realized that I did’t stutter when I was alone, only when I tried to speak to someone else. That basically told me there was really nothing wrong with me, and I vowed to cure myself. I was determined not to go through the rest of my life as a stutterer.

For the next two or three years I became obsessed with curing myself, and as I look at it now, I was given the Grace to figure out how to stop. I now work with other stutterers to teach them how not to stutter. I love doing that kind of work.

So Aviva and I had an instantaneous bond,and I can’t wait to see her again!

You’ll see it all when the video is edited!

And all of this glitz and glamour was thanks to the team at Oui 2 PR, Rob Goldstone and David Wilson who are both so humble and hate to be recognized, but the truth is they do A-1 events, that are well organized, and I for one appreciate that, and believe in giving credit where credit is due! So there!!! (LOL)

Posted in: Breaking News, Celeb Photos, Charity Events, Comedians In The News, General Information, Important News, Nightlife Events, Page 6 Review, Red Carpet Events

Leave a Comment (0) →